I guarantee you if you follow these tips, you’ll become much more confident, and these tips are not quick fixes, these are strategies, and each thing on this list, will take you a really long time to get straight, but once you actually do attain these, you’ll notice that you will be a lot more confident of a person, these tips took me years to develop and I’m still not perfect at them, but I can guarantee you they’re life-changing.
1.create strong values and live according to them
If you were to get your values from today’s contemporary culture, your values would be like look hot, get rich, have sex, they’re terrible values, because they won’t make you happy, they may make you temporarily, experience, pleasure for a short amount of time, but if you live by those, who knows what, so how does one come up with better values, so if you have crappy values, you need to have better values, and you need to live by those better values, but saying just have better values it’s such a subjective thing, and I can’t tell you what good values are, that’s up to you, but you probably already have a good idea, of what your higher values are when you perform an action or do anything that’s aligned with your higher values, you will feel empowered, you’ll feel good about yourself, and your self-confidence will improve things like telling the truth, or sticking up for somebody, or sacrificing what you want now for what you want most.
You know these things are often not easy to do, but once you do them you feel really powerful, and you feel really good about yourself, things that go against your higher values may feel pretty good at the time, but they will disintegrate you, they’ll make you feel worse about yourself, so just basically meditate and reflect on what your higher values are, what are those things that are higher truths to you kind of you’re moral compass, and align your actions, and your decisions based on those values, and stick to them no matter what, nothing is a bigger confidence killer than doing something that contradicts your values, whether it’s for somebody else, or whether it’s just a moment of weakness and you do it just experience pleasure, when you do something that you don’t really want to do but you do it out of weakness, you don’t feel very good about yourself, or if you do something that contradicts your values for a employer or somebody like that, you don’t feel very good about yourself, you feel really slimy, and that is a huge confidence killer it ruins your opinion of yourself, and you just won’t be that rock-solid confident dude, that this article is trying to teach you how to be okay.
2. is to choose the few people whose opinion you care about
If you listen to contemporary wisdom, you would read lots of books saying, you shouldn’t care about what anyone thinks of you, I disagree with that for a lot of reasons, I think there are many benefits to actually caring what other people think of you, just not everybody, most people the majority of people you come across you should not care about what they think of you, so how do you figure out whose opinion does matter, who will help you achieve your core values, who will build you up as a person, what kinds of people will help you be the best version of yourself, these are the people whose opinion matters. other people whose opinion you can care about, our close friends, and if you’re a value-based person you will choose your friends according to who will help you stick to your values, you’re gonna choose friends who actually have something going on, have their life together, and are constantly improving themselves and building towards something, and will help you build towards something if you have deadbeat friends who are dragging you down, doesn’t you don’t have to care about them anymore as a human being, you know check-in with them, see how they’re doing, but I have plenty of people in my life who if I was still hanging out with them, I would not be where I am today.
And finally other people whose opinion you should care about our mentors, and the nice thing about mentors is you can choose who is your mentor, you can choose your mentors, you can have several mentors, these can be spiritual mentors, professional Mentors, these can be mentors at the gym, who are more jacked than you and you want to figure out how to be as jacked as them, these are people who are further along in certain aspects of life than you, you are the product of everyone you surround yourself with, so if you’re surrounded with people who are better than you, you have no choice but to get as good as those people, so those are the people whose opinion you should care about, so forget everyone else, and that might not sound very practical, it’s like how do I stop thinking about what everyone thinks of me, the good question you read the book ‘’how to stop worrying and start living’’ by Dale Carnegie, it’s the same author of how to win friends and influence people.
3. affirm yourself to gain self-confidence
to increase your confidence is to affirm yourself, and this doesn’t mean that you have to talk to yourself in the mirror every morning before you brush your teeth, it just means that you should really watch the kind of self-talk that goes inside your head, when you mess up are you the kind of person who berate to yourself, or you’re the kind of person who is sympathetic towards himself, and you realize that you’re on your own side, this was one of the most powerful techniques that helped me become more confident, in every aspect of my life, watching how I responded to myself when I did something that either violated my values, or if I messed up in a job or something like that, did I put myself down or was I realistic realize that I made a mistake and helped myself not make that mistake again, because I loved myself, your opinion of yourself is the cornerstone of confidence, if that you’re human you make mistakes and you’re allowed to make mistakes, you will worry a lot less about making them.
4. have a purpose
I can’t tell you how to have a purpose, you don’t need to figure out the meaning of life or anything like that, all I’m saying is you need to have a reason for waking up every morning if you have a goal say like a five-year plan, you want to get out of student debt you want to start developing passive income so that you have the freedom to spend time with people that you care about, that is a purpose, and if you stick to that and you fully buy into that goal, then you have a rock-solid reason for waking up in the morning, and you have something that’ll help guide every action of your life, and that will inspire confidence.
this kind of purpose makes every interaction you have with every human being means something, this guy who walks into a room everyone shuts up they look at him, like a celebrity right they got mad clout, they walk around like they have a purpose, if you ask any successful person what he’s doing today or what he’s doing next week or what the overall plan is for the month, they will be able to tell you, that’s in part why they’re so confident, they know exactly what they need to do, and they don’t really care about anyone who stands in the way of that, so figure out what your purpose is and you’ll instantly have way more confidence.
5. act confident even if you’re nervous
This is the only kind of classic listicle tip I have on here is act confident even if you’re nervous, rule number one in Jordan Peterson’s 12 rules for life, is to stand up straight with your shoulders back, not just Jordan Peterson knowledge if you look up, that’s power posing, your physiology is directly and intimately linked with your psychology, if you have a habit of having kind of a crappy posture and you walk around, and you’re kind of walking around aimlessly, then you are gonna produce the brain chemicals, that makes you feel like a beta male, makes you feel subhuman, you’re not gonna feel very good at all, whereas if you just adjust your posture, you breathe deep, and you act confidently, you will be more confident.
so really be mindful of how you’re dressing, how you’re walking, how your posture is, how you present yourself on a physiological level, because it directly influences your psychology and vice-versa, fake it until you make it as powerful if you want to be confident start pretending to be confident.
There is no magic cure that can make you more self-assured overnight. However, by focusing on taking tiny, consistent steps, you can move from a fixed mentality to a growth mindset. Building trust is similar to gaining momentum: if you keep taking action, you’ll gain confidence with each positive move.