Today’s married couples have faced numerous problems that past generations never had to face in an ever-changing world. In the face of these current obstacles, relationship experts’ previous tips, tricks, and marital advice have become irrelevant. As a result, today’s couples sometimes feel like they’re on their own when it comes to figuring out how to have a stable and loving life.
It would make sense for newlywed couples to seek advice from older married couples who have exemplified fruitful marriages while seeking marriage advice. However, according to a report conducted by Sheela Kennedy and Stephen Ruggles of the University of Minnesota, it is older married couples are contributing to the increase in divorce rates in the United States.
This predicament leaves a lack of good role models for couples who are facing trouble in their relationships.
After nearly two decades of working with couples on a regular basis, I’ve seen that stable and unhealthy couples adopt common habits and partake in similar activities that either lead to their satisfaction or unhappiness together.
Regardless of the marital counseling they get, happy and stable couples prefer to spend more in their marriages than sad and dysfunctional couples. There seem to be twenty aspects that happy, loving couples do that add to their marriage’s mutual satisfaction and prosperity.
1. Display Physical Affection on a Daily Basis
Sexual love for your partner tends to be an easy and common sense thing to do in your marriage. However, you’d be shocked by how many couples go days without seeing each other. This type of physical touch is nonsexual in nature and can be as easy as kissing or touching each other’s hands. At least once a day, Loving couples find it a priority to be emotionally affectionate with each other.
2. Develop a shared future vision
Another piece of marital advice that is often ignored is to have a mutual vision. When a corporation is created, it is common for them to develop a vision statement that explains how they expect their future to look. This mission statement makes everyone at the organization concentrate on the work they’re doing together and the path they’re moving in. In the same way, loving couples have a good picture of how they expect their marriage to grow in the future.
3. Be Transparent and Honest in your Marriage
Most couples will accept that being truthful in their marriage is key to creating and sustaining confidence in a partnership. Transparency, on the other hand, brings sincerity to a whole new degree.
Being open means that you and your wife have no secrets, including keys to bank accounts, emails, and social media accounts, as well as phone lockout displays. This seems to come easily to Loving couples, maintaining a deep trust relationship.
4. Make Face-to-Face Time a Priority
Many couples agree that spending quality time together means enjoying their tv shows together or going out for a night out with good friends. Although these tasks can be fun, spending time alone together doing an experience that allows partners to face each other stimulates a whole new dimension of trust and bonding that most couples lack.
Loving couples average over 5 hours of quality time together each week, according to John Gottman, author of The Seven Rules for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Roadmap from the Country’s Leading Relationship Specialist.
5. Prioritize sexual intimacy
Most people are shocked to hear that many couples struggle with sexual intimacy. According to a report published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, sexual satisfaction has decreased among married couples in the United States.
Furthermore, according to a report published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, nearly 15% of American couples are in a sexless marriage, described as having sex less than twice per year. It goes without saying that a lack of physical intimacy in a marriage is a major problem that, if not resolved, will lead to the marriage’s demise. Loving couples prioritize their intimate lives in their marriage.
6. Take on new challenges
Another important bit of marital advice for couples is to try new stuff. Spontaneity is said to be the “spice of life,” and safe relationships are no exception. To continue to thrive as a couple, couples must do new activities and have new experiences. These new perspectives include new topics for loving couples to discuss and share.
7. Share a Laughter
Humor is such a strong feeling that it helps in marital bonding. Couples that enjoy each other’s company and are able to joke together strengthen their bond of confidence and respect. Laughs is really the “true treatment,” and loving couples get lots of it.
8. Hang out with your closest friends
Be best mates. This may be the most popular marital advice provided to today’s couples. In a marriage, friendship is just as critical as the other facets. Happily married couples love spending time with each other and finding each other to be their best mate, in addition to laughing.
And couples who marry their former best friends find that their partner becomes their new best friend. In this way, loving couples regard their partner as their lifelong best mate.
9. Maintain the Sacredness of the Marital Bed
This is true for married couples who are parents with small children. When young children are frightened of the dark or are not feeling well, it is customary for them to come to their parents’ room. Some parents, on the other hand, “cosleep” with their children on a daily basis. As a result, couples spend several nights away from one another and do not even sleep in the same room. Physical affection and sexual intimacy can suffer as a result of this. In their bed, Loving couples build a sacred room for each other.
10. Make Little Love and Consideration Gestures
“It’s all about the little stuff,” as the saying goes, and this is particularly true of loving relationships. Couples who are satisfied in their relationship make an attempt to express their affection and concern for one another by simple acts like giving their partner a cup of coffee, leaving a supportive post-it message, or picking up their favorite scented candle from the shop.
11. Be surprised by one another
Surprises can take several types, but couples who surprise their partner with a present or an enjoyable experience, for example, are more likely to be happy in their marriage. Taking your companion on a surprise outing or to watch their favorite band play brings a healthy dose of intrigue and suspense. Surprises are a fun and enjoyable way for Loving couples to express their love for one another.
12. Help them by taking everything off their plate
All of our responsibilities will easily overshadow us in our hectic lives. For both ourselves and our friends, this can be very stressful. When Loving couples notice that their partner is depressed, they will take action to relieve some of the tension by doing the dishes or running errands for them.
13. Set aside time for you and your partner.
Many parents feel bad about taking their children on vacations with them, particularly when they have to leave them with relatives or friends. This sometimes leads to “family vacations,” but not time spent together alone. In addition to family vacations, Loving couples make it a point to plan trips away together.
14. Schedule a date night
Any couple has heard about a couple’s date night. However, only a small number of couples find date nights a routine part of their union. When children and family responsibilities take precedence in a couple’s life, it’s easy to explain rescheduling date nights. Loving couples, on the other side, realize that if they do not prioritize their partnership, the family’s structure will suffer.
15. Be Open About Your Vulnerability
Another important piece of marital advice is to show your weakness. Sharing insecure feelings with your partner isn’t the most pleasurable experience. It is, however, important to reinforce the marital relationship and assist them in growing as a couple. Since they recognize the importance it adds to their overall friendship, Loving couples strike a balance between having fun together and expressing their weakness.
16. Maintain a healthy balance between giving and receiving
Relationships are said to be about “giving and taking.” Loving couples, it seems, do more than that. Through their mate, they should strike a balance between giving and getting. This is often a difficult task and it requires you to not take your companion for granted and to hold them in the center of your thoughts. It also necessitates being respectful and open to obtaining from your mate.
17. Be respectful of your partner’s family.
Mother-in-law cracks have spawned entire careers in entertainment, and while in-law tension is a normal phenomenon, it is scarcely funny. Respecting your spouse’s family can be difficult, particularly if there was a disagreement before you arrived and especially if your spouse has a strained relationship with them, to begin with.
It’s much more complicated if you hate your in-laws. Loving couples, on the other hand, observe a strong rule of thumb by respecting their in-laws but still honoring their partner. This marital advice may seem obvious, but it is nonetheless crucial.
18. Preserve Safe Relationship Limits
Maintaining external friendships will take a lot of effort. External friendships can place a burden on a marriage when it comes to juggling the amount of energy and commitment required to nurture a loving relationship on a daily basis. Loving couples create reasonable limits with their friends that do not jeopardize their life.
19. Make Use Of Discretion
You may have come into touch with someone who gossips about their partner behind their spouse’s back. This is not only harmful to the union, but it also prohibits the pair from addressing their issues and instead insists on finding external recognition for their status. Loving couples understand that issues can occur with every union and exercise caution while thinking publicly about their partner so that they can focus on their problems in private.
20. Express Appreciation Verbally
Feeling loved is one of our basic human needs, and it is much more critical in marriage. Loving couples not only express their gratitude to one another, but they also display it.
Given these specific habits of loving couples, it seems that marriage counseling should be derived from what loving couples are doing now rather than what experts have said in the past.
In today’s culture, happy, safe, and loving relationships have responded to modern demands by introducing new attachment habits that ensure intimacy and a real link. It also seems that the adage is wrong, meaning that if someone else is doing it, you and your partner can as well.